Speed Demon
by crematosis
Summary: AU Albel is a reckless driver that likes to run over cute little animals. How can Fayt remain his friend and yet keep his morals? rated for language...and use of cancer sticks...bad Albel!


A/N: I think I've made Albel a little too evil in this one...if I can call him a bastard then I know I've overdone it…but I'm sure some of you will love him anyway no matter how much I love to hate him. XD

Disclaimer: No tengo Albel y Fayt…me no have.:( Albel is loosely based on several people I know and Jack sparrow and Zaphod, so be warned...he's wild.

Albel Nox was a terrible driver. That was the world's biggest understatement. Fayt Leingod, his best friend, wondered how he managed to make it to school every day without injuring himself or someone else. Albel broke every single rule of the road almost daily. He often went twice the speed limit, he never stayed within the lane lines, and most of the time he wasn't even looking at the road. Yet, he had never been in an accident. If people value their lives, they stayed out of Albel's way.

Fayt was the complete opposite. He was an overly cautious driver. He always went exactly the speed limit even if other people were going much faster. He never had road rage because he was afraid of being bludgeoned to death by an angry trucker. Fayt had never been in an accident either, but it was a fear that gnawed at him constantly.

Fayt and Albel had many of the same classes together, but Albel was a slacker who rarely did his work while Fayt was the top student. Fayt's conscience rebelled against cheating but Albel gave Fayt no choice. Every morning, Albel would screech into the school parking lot and step out of his car. Fayt knew the routine perfectly. Toss the keys in his hands twice before shoving them into his pockets, removing his sunglasses, then the predatory smirk as he spotted Fayt.

At the beginning of the year, Fayt sat the by the water fountain every day. After a few weeks he changed his spot daily to avoid Albel, but it was no use. Albel always spotted him immediately. Maybe it was his blue hair.

Albel would walk towards Fayt, his huge black square boots with metal buckles pounding the pavement. Fayt could have run, but he abandoned that idea long ago. Albel was tough and Fayt was scared of what he would do if he caught him. Fayt knew of Albel's reputation. He wore tight black pants, had a tattoo, smoked, and carried a knife. He had shown it to Fayt once. The rumors were that Albel did all kinds of drugs, belonged to a gang, and had sex in the locker room. Fayt could almost believe it.

So Fayt stayed frozen to the spot as Albel approached and bared his teeth, looking like the devil as always.

"Hey, kid. How about letting me see that homework?" It was a game they played every morning. They both knew Fayt would eventually give in, but not without a fight.

"No," Fayt said firmly. "Ask one of your sluts."

Albel looked startled. "Whoa, point for you. You've got me there. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Fayt rolled his eyes. "Don't play innocent. I've seen you with your horde of girls, making out with them, your hands up their shirts."

Albel smirked. "Jealous?"

Fayt snorted. "No, I just don't want your dirty hand on my work."

Albel sat down on the cement stairs next to Fayt. "They mean nothing to me. I've only got eyes for you."

"Excuse me?" Fayt couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Albel chuckled evilly. His voice dropped lower. "You didn't know I was bi, did you? Well, I am. Why do you think I keep my hair long?" Albel casually brushed his black and blonde hair out of his eyes.

Fayt shuddered. "Just because you have long hair doesn't make you bi."

"That's true. But it is awfully fun getting some fag to braid my hair for me."

Fayt stood up. "I can't believe you. That's totally disgusting. I don't think I can ever look at you again."

Albel pushed him back down. "Let me see that homework of yours."

"No," Fayt growled.

"I'll give you a cigarette." Albel fished in his pocket for his matches and methodically lit a cigarette, which he sat smoking thoughtfully as he eyed Fayt.

"I don't smoke," Fayt said firmly.

"I'll teach you," Albel offered. He held the cigarette delicately between two fingers and watched the smoke curl up from it.

"No, it's a disgusting habit."

"Suit yourself, stupid." Albel leaned back comfortably against the steps as he puffed smoke in Fayt's direction.

Fayt scowled. "I'm leaving."

Albel quickly extinguished his cigarette. "Oh no you don't. Not before I get Mr. Gush's math homework from you."

"I'm not giving it to you!"

Albel switched tactics. He eyed Fayt carefully. "Give me that homework or I'm going to drag you into the bathroom and we'll have hot sweaty man sex."

"I said no!" Fayt growled. "And I'm not your whore!"

"Alright, that's enough," Albel snarled. He dragged Fayt to his feet. "Let's go."

Fayt panicked, trying to twist his arm out of Albel's death grip. "No, no, no! Fine, you can have it!"

Albel smirked and threw Fayt to the ground. Fayt scowled at him.

Albel ruffled his hair affectionately. "I don't know why you have to make this so hard, kid. I'm doing you a favor. You don't have to wear that halo so damn tight."

Fayt glowered and turned away from Albel. Albel scanned over the homework, his red eyes quickly seeing everything. "Here now, you've made a mistake. This should be 42."

Fayt glanced at the work and groaned. "You're right. This throws off the whole thing. I'll have to do 9 all over again." Fayt pulled out a pencil and quickly redid the problem.

Albel took it back at looked at it again. "Oh, what's this? Another mistake? This brings the paper down from an A + to just an A +. I'm so disappointed in you, kid. You misspelled augmented."

Fayt glared at him. "Since you seem to know what you're doing, why don't you just do the work instead of copying mine?"

"It's more fun to mess with you," Albel said cheerfully. "You get upset to easily. You're too self-righteous. You need to get drunk or something."

"I don't drink either," Fayt said stiffly.

"Let me guess, you think it's a bad habit." Albel rolled his eyes. "Fayt, you are a saint. But you're living in the real world, not some convent. You're lucky you got me as a best friend to help you out. For being such a smart guy, you sure have a lot to learn."

"You're not my best friend," Fayt snapped.

"That's right. I'm your only friend."

"Some friend you are," Fayt muttered. "All you do is steal my homework."

"Hell, it's better than nothing. I give it back, don't I? And don't give me this bullshit about not hanging out with you. I keep offering but you turn me down."

"All you want to do is smoke and get drunk and get into knife fights. That's not exactly my idea of a good time."

Albel put his arm around Fayt. "Come on. You've got to have some sort of vice. Ever picture chicks naked?"

"No," said Fayt, looking horrified.

"Not even that smartass chick, Sophia? The girl who keeps looking at you like you're her idol? The one with all those books she reads all the time?

Fayt blushed. "Not Sophia. Sophia's an intellectual."

"Forbidden love. Sounds dangerous. You can capture her, tie her up and fuck the shit out of her. Of course, she won't like it, but that's all the more fun."

"Albel, that's terrible!"

"You've never had these kinds of fantasies?"

"Of course not! Violence is not love."

"You're still a virgin, aren't you?"

"What difference does that make?" Fayt was angry now.

"Well…" Albel's eyes narrowed lazily. "I'm going to be your first. I'll teach you to fly, kid. You haven't had sex until you've had sex stoned. And I promise I won't smoke after, well, at least not immediately after."

Fayt's face contorted into a fury. Albel laughed and rose, sauntering slowly across the wide green school lawn.

"You fucking bastard!" Fayt screeched, flipping him off.

Albel turned and gave Fayt a sloppy salute. "Careful now, kid. I see that halo slipping."

Fayt scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Fucking goddamn whore," Fayt muttered under his breath.

Fayt avoided Albel the rest of the day, still enraged by his behavior. Albel didn't seem to care. He just smirked at Fayt as they passed each other in the hallways. In Spanish class, a girl passed Fayt a note from Albel. Fayt unfolded it to find a very dirty picture, a vulgar suggestion and the words, "I'll see you after school." Albel gave Fayt an innocent look as Fayt scowled at him from across the room.

Fayt walked straight to his car after school, not even bothering to follow his usual routine of stopping at his locker. Albel would be there waiting for him, as always, and Fayt did not want to see Albel ever again. Fayt dug in his pockets for his keys, but couldn't find them. Fayt growled angrily and began searching through his backpack.

"Looking for something?" asked a familiar, slightly slurred voice.

Fayt jumped up, startled.

Albel stepped out from behind another car. He stumbled twice before he got to Fayt. He put a heavy arm on Fayt's shoulder and looked at him with unfocused eyes. "You dropped something," he muttered, opening a clenched fist to show Fayt his keys.

"Thanks," Fayt said quickly. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to get home." He snatched the car keys from Albel's hand before he could protest.

Albel watched silently as Fayt got in the car and tried to start it. Fayt growled at his car. "The battery's dead. It won't turn over."

"I'll take you home in my car."

"No, you're drunk, you shouldn't be driving."

"Bah, if Bode Miller can ski drunk, I can drive drunk."

"It's not the same thing."

Albel sighed tiredly. "Just get in the car, Fayt."

"Albel, I don't think this is such a good-"

"I said, get in the car, biatch!" Albel hung onto the car door to steady himself.

Fayt sighed and reluctantly got into the front seat next to Albel. "I can drive if you want me to."

"My car," Albel said brusquely. "Nobody but me drives it."

Fayt buried his head in his hands. "God, you're going to kill us all."

Albel grinned as he slowly maneuvered out of the parking lot and immediately accelerated. He glanced over at Fayt. Fayt had turned deadly white and he was clutching onto the seat so hard his knuckles were turning white. Albel chuckled softly.

Fayt looked up at him, terror in his eyes. "Watch the road! You're going to cause an accident! You're going way too fast!"

"I don't cause accidents," Albel said cheerfully. "If the fools want to live, they'll avoid me. It takes two to cause an accident."

Fayt groaned and closed his eyes, willing Albel to get him home quickly so he wouldn't have to face so much torture. However, Albel was not as drunk as he seemed. He quickly picked up on Fayt's nervousness and exploited it.

Albel drove deliberately down the wrong side of the road, swerving at the last minute just as the other car swerved to avoid him. Fayt was thrown against the car door. "Don't do that!" Fayt shrieked. "We could have been killed!"

"Well, we weren't, were we?"

Fayt whimpered and tried to take a deep breath to steady his nerves. "I'm surprised the cops don't catch you for that. That's reckless and suicidal."

Albel shrugged. "The cops stay away if they know what's good for them. Besides, I could outrun most cops." Albel patted the dashboard affectionately.

Fayt buried his head in his hands. "I knew this was a bad idea."

"Naw, you've just got to live a little." Albel perked up excitedly. "Oh look, it's a squirrel. Let's have roadkill pizza tonight."

"No, no, no! Don't kill it! Please don't!" Fayt desperately clutched onto Albel's arm.

Albel bored down on the squirrel going 50, 60, 70 mph. Fayt squeezed his eyes closed, afraid to look.

Albel swerved at the last minute, again slamming Fayt against the car door. Albel laughed. "Classic case of hit and miss. Now, wasn't that just most fun you've ever had?"

"If you call giving me a heart attack fun," Fayt muttered darkly.

Albel laughed again and abruptly did a quick 180 with the car, crashing it into the curb and knocking over a mailbox. "I believe this is your stop," he muttered, winking at Fayt.

Fayt scrambled out of the car, looking sadly at the destroyed mailbox, but thanking every deity he could think of that it was just a mailbox and not him.

Albel laughed and pulled the door closed. "See you tomorrow at school, kid."

As Albel roared away in his bright red car, Fayt stood staring after him thoughtfully. He was beginning to have an idea.

The next morning, as Albel approached him and started to ask for his homework, Fayt interrupted him. "I'll let you look at my homework if you let me drive you home. The way you drive, I don't think you'll live long."

Albel smirked. "I don't usually drive like that. That was just to piss you off."

"But you do drive terribly," Fayt muttered. "I've seen you drive at least 100 miles an hour through the parking lot. It's dangerous. I can't consciously let you go home like that. It'd be sending you to your death."

Albel shrugged. "Whatever you say, Fayt. My car or yours?"

"Mine. Yours goes too fast."

Albel smirked. "This is kinda nice. I won't have to fight traffic today. I'll let you do the fighting for me. Well, if you want to protect me, I'm not stopping you." He rose, Fayt's essay on environmentalism in his hand. "See you after school, kid."

Albel got into the passenger's side next to Fayt. He put on his sunglasses and lit a cigarette. "Alright, kid. Let's hit the road.

Fayt gave Albel an irritated look. Albel sighed heavily. "Fine, I'll open a window." Albel rolled down the window and stuck his hand out, still holding onto his cigarette. Well, Fayt couldn't expect much more.

After a moment, Albel got bored with his cigarette and tossed it away and rolled the window back up.

"That's called littering," Fayt said sternly.

Albel grinned. "Not if nobody sees it."

Fayt drove slowly, his eyes watching the road and not Albel. Albel stayed silent and looked out the window. Fayt flipped on the right hand turn signal and carefully made his turn.

Albel spoke up. "This isn't the way to my house."

"I know. We're going somewhere else."

Albel raised an eyebrow and said nothing.

Fayt parked in front of an old gray building without a sign of life.

"Hey, what is this place anyhow?" Albel muttered.

"You'll see," Fayt said cheerfully. "Now, let's go in."

Albel got out of the war warily. They had almost gotten to the door when Albel noticed the faded lettering on the door. "Driving school! Oh no, anything but that!"

Albel panicked and tried to make a run back to the car but Fayt blocked his way. "Stop it, you big baby. It's not that bad." Fayt pushed Albel forward through the door.

The blonde receptionist looked at Albel over the top of her glasses. "Oh yes, I have you booked in a class today. Right down the hall as soon as your name is called."

Albel slid into a plastic chair and glared daggers at Fayt. Fayt gently kissed Albel's forehead. "Class is over at five. I'll come pick you up. And I have you scheduled for rehab starting tomorrow. See you at five, babe."

As soon as Fayt left, Albel slid farther into his seat. "Angel my ass. He has devil horns to hold his halo on."

"Next!" yelled the receptionist.


End file.
